Knight Rider triggers epistemological crisis
There are a million things I ought to worry about... but I don’t. I can’t. I just don’t understand them, and I’m still struggling with the Great Imponderable: how does Knight Rider work?
Global warming? Too complex for me. No matter how far I dig into the science, I really don’t have a basis for understanding. We live in a paradoxical age of too much information, and too little clearly acknowledged authority. Facts are manipulated by “expert witnesses” to the degree that a reasonable listener, with no agenda of his own, cannot reasonably arrive at meaningful conclusions. The Birthers, the conspiracy theorists, the single global currency alarmists – you name it, there's a web site and legion of true believers eager to enroll you in their cause, marshalling vast battalions of facts and refutations of their opponents’ equally massive fact-hoards.
The result? Someone (well-intentioned or evil, doesn’t matter) cries “Wolf!” Instantly, a dozen observers, using unmanned aerial vehicles and GPS and laser ranging and DNA testing, all confirm canis lupis, range 400 meters and closing fast. Half the world prepares to take up spears to fend off the beast. The other half stands fast, confident that condemnation of the original reporter disproves the existence of the wolf. A fine meal is had by a lucky dog.
“Truth, what does that mean?” asked Pontius Pilate, trying to reconcile vastly differing accounts of the prisoner standing before him. It is the epistemological question of the ages: how can we know what we know? I don't have the lofty ambition of solving that. I just want to know how Knight Rider can drive up the ramp of a moving semi without rocketing through the front of the cargo bay.
Why worry about this? Well, it’s something of a test of how well people can reach consensus understanding via a thought experiment. Einstein used thought experiments to describe special relativity, holding the whole, pure picture of the universe in his head, and then developing the mathematics to describe it. In our household, my sweet wife and I simply cannot see eye-to-eye on this one, no matter how detailed the thought experiment.
It's surprising, because I think we’re qualified to work this out. She's more mechanically intuitive than I; she runs a machine shop and has a father who builds cars. I, on the other hand, am somewhat capable as an instructor and explainer, including writing technical documentation. When a roomful of smart people who are not ideologically opposed to one another cannot agree, what does that say about the difficulty of finding the truth?
For our Knight Rider debate, now in its second decade, we started with experts, writing to NPR’s Click & Clack and asking them arbitrate. “The problem: KITT, the near-sentient Car of the Future, is racing down Highway 1, pursued by evil-doers intent on acquiring his technology, or kidnapping the amnesiac heiress, or stealing Hasselhoff's hair secrets. KITT maneuvers up behind a semi travelling 60 mph. It extends a ramp to the roadbed, sending up showers of sparks. Matching speeds carefully, KITT climbs the ramp, rolls down the bay door and is discreetly carried to a secret lair to plan his next heroic act. Easy, right? Hardly. My sweet bride insists that KITT would blast up the ramp and and destroy the semi’s cab the moment his wheels touch the ramp. This egregious break in verisimilitude has ruined the show for her. Help!”
No reply from Click & Clack, the chickens. No wonder; this is territory in which people of good will and fine reasoning can debate endlessly, and Truth finds itself a wallflower at the cotillion of opinion.
I’ve argued that since the Car of The Future has all-wheel drive (and wouldn’t he? This is The Future), this is just a matter of careful clutch work. The critical relationships are the relative velocities of the vehicles, and the coupling between motive force and surface. Watch: KITT approaches the ramp at 61 mph using rear wheel drive. KITT and truck are both moving near 60 mph relative to the ground, but only 1 mph relative to one another. The front wheels roll onto the ramp; KITT’s chassis is still moving at 1 mph relative to the ramp. Since they are not engaged in the drive train, the spinning tires might burn a little rubber, but won’t pull him up the ramp. The rear wheel drive continues to propel the car at 1 mph relative to the truck. When they roll onto the ramp, the rear wheels may burn some rubber, but since the vehicle is stationary relative the truck, the effect is to similar goosing it from a dead stop; although the car might be capable of accelerating from zero to sixty in five seconds, The Hoff can take his foot off the gas… or the computer control can do it for him. Either way, climbing the inclined ramp and the distance provide adequate stopping room.
Here’s the killer. We’ve been arguing about this for years, unable to convince one another. Come time to write this essay, I ponder it for a week, do research, draw diagrams, convince myself it works. Write the essay. Proofread it. Go to the web for one more little fact. Find a YouTube video of Mythbusters actually performing the stunt. (See it: http://bit.ly/knightrider) Dang. It works!
Real research –- reproducible, physical experiments in the real world– trumps opinion and thought experiments every time. Unfortunately, for a lot of the Big Questions, we can’t do experiments. We’re still stuck wondering how we know what we know. Maybe we should ask KITT.
Global warming? Too complex for me. No matter how far I dig into the science, I really don’t have a basis for understanding. We live in a paradoxical age of too much information, and too little clearly acknowledged authority. Facts are manipulated by “expert witnesses” to the degree that a reasonable listener, with no agenda of his own, cannot reasonably arrive at meaningful conclusions. The Birthers, the conspiracy theorists, the single global currency alarmists – you name it, there's a web site and legion of true believers eager to enroll you in their cause, marshalling vast battalions of facts and refutations of their opponents’ equally massive fact-hoards.
The result? Someone (well-intentioned or evil, doesn’t matter) cries “Wolf!” Instantly, a dozen observers, using unmanned aerial vehicles and GPS and laser ranging and DNA testing, all confirm canis lupis, range 400 meters and closing fast. Half the world prepares to take up spears to fend off the beast. The other half stands fast, confident that condemnation of the original reporter disproves the existence of the wolf. A fine meal is had by a lucky dog.
“Truth, what does that mean?” asked Pontius Pilate, trying to reconcile vastly differing accounts of the prisoner standing before him. It is the epistemological question of the ages: how can we know what we know? I don't have the lofty ambition of solving that. I just want to know how Knight Rider can drive up the ramp of a moving semi without rocketing through the front of the cargo bay.
Why worry about this? Well, it’s something of a test of how well people can reach consensus understanding via a thought experiment. Einstein used thought experiments to describe special relativity, holding the whole, pure picture of the universe in his head, and then developing the mathematics to describe it. In our household, my sweet wife and I simply cannot see eye-to-eye on this one, no matter how detailed the thought experiment.
It's surprising, because I think we’re qualified to work this out. She's more mechanically intuitive than I; she runs a machine shop and has a father who builds cars. I, on the other hand, am somewhat capable as an instructor and explainer, including writing technical documentation. When a roomful of smart people who are not ideologically opposed to one another cannot agree, what does that say about the difficulty of finding the truth?
For our Knight Rider debate, now in its second decade, we started with experts, writing to NPR’s Click & Clack and asking them arbitrate. “The problem: KITT, the near-sentient Car of the Future, is racing down Highway 1, pursued by evil-doers intent on acquiring his technology, or kidnapping the amnesiac heiress, or stealing Hasselhoff's hair secrets. KITT maneuvers up behind a semi travelling 60 mph. It extends a ramp to the roadbed, sending up showers of sparks. Matching speeds carefully, KITT climbs the ramp, rolls down the bay door and is discreetly carried to a secret lair to plan his next heroic act. Easy, right? Hardly. My sweet bride insists that KITT would blast up the ramp and and destroy the semi’s cab the moment his wheels touch the ramp. This egregious break in verisimilitude has ruined the show for her. Help!”
No reply from Click & Clack, the chickens. No wonder; this is territory in which people of good will and fine reasoning can debate endlessly, and Truth finds itself a wallflower at the cotillion of opinion.
I’ve argued that since the Car of The Future has all-wheel drive (and wouldn’t he? This is The Future), this is just a matter of careful clutch work. The critical relationships are the relative velocities of the vehicles, and the coupling between motive force and surface. Watch: KITT approaches the ramp at 61 mph using rear wheel drive. KITT and truck are both moving near 60 mph relative to the ground, but only 1 mph relative to one another. The front wheels roll onto the ramp; KITT’s chassis is still moving at 1 mph relative to the ramp. Since they are not engaged in the drive train, the spinning tires might burn a little rubber, but won’t pull him up the ramp. The rear wheel drive continues to propel the car at 1 mph relative to the truck. When they roll onto the ramp, the rear wheels may burn some rubber, but since the vehicle is stationary relative the truck, the effect is to similar goosing it from a dead stop; although the car might be capable of accelerating from zero to sixty in five seconds, The Hoff can take his foot off the gas… or the computer control can do it for him. Either way, climbing the inclined ramp and the distance provide adequate stopping room.
Here’s the killer. We’ve been arguing about this for years, unable to convince one another. Come time to write this essay, I ponder it for a week, do research, draw diagrams, convince myself it works. Write the essay. Proofread it. Go to the web for one more little fact. Find a YouTube video of Mythbusters actually performing the stunt. (See it: http://bit.ly/knightrider) Dang. It works!
Real research –- reproducible, physical experiments in the real world– trumps opinion and thought experiments every time. Unfortunately, for a lot of the Big Questions, we can’t do experiments. We’re still stuck wondering how we know what we know. Maybe we should ask KITT.